Eugene Dizzyman -- the disgruntled aerial cameraman...still angry about not making the "A" crew for the Puerto Rico shoot. Word on the set is that Dizzyman was spotted drinking a Strawberry Shasta from his platform just before filming began.

Patricia Pinkerton -- the savvy prop/costume mistress, forced to purchase the only color of satin sheets on sale at K-mart since the Prop Department is horribly overbudget from buying all of those matching purses for Pilar's outfits. Miss Pinkerton swears the sheets were white when she bought them...can we really be sure without the sales receipt?!

Michael Conforti -- head GL scribe who was seen sitting on the consummation bed with the master script and a giant red Sharpie, furiously X-ing out line after line of material...all the while mumbling something about the originally planned love scene "never passing the censors." Conforti left the set that day, but did he take the red Sharpie with him?!

Chester Cheezehead -- esteemed director at the helm for such classic episodes as the St. Micheal's church bombing and the Jeva pop-up wedding. Chester had lunch on the set that day...red wine with his grilled cheese sandwich. He claims to have only had one glass...but when the cast and crew returned from their lunch break, the bottle was empty and the sheets on the bed were pink! Coincidence?

Paul Anthony Stewart -- A source close to Mr. Stewart confirms that the actor did indeed have a bottle of Pepto Bismol stashed underneath the pillows. But this same source claims that Mr. Stewart finished the entire bottle of Pepto Bismol (plus a half bottle of Maalox) during the 31/2 hour shoot in the bed.

Maximillan Crackpot -- The technical director, miffed that his flying forrest bed prototype was nixed by Paul Raunch during early production stages. Mr. Crackpot insists that the film he shot and edited featured *white* sheets. But investigators found that the hues had been tampered with in several shots...hmmm, could Mr. Crackpot have edited the white sheets and made them appear pink in the final cuts?!

Joie Lenz -- The actress claims that the three empty tubes of pink lipstick found in her purse were planted by a jealous co-worker...but we all know that Tammy Blanchard doesn't wear pink lipstick; she wears bright red! So, who is Ms. Lenz covering for?

Only you can solve this mystery! I'd love to help, but I'm working on the case of Michelle's Morphing Eyeshadow. Strangely she was caked in blue eyeshadow on Friday that somehow turned green during Monday's consummation scenes?! Does this girl carry Estee Lauder's color pallette #31 in that tiny handbag of hers?! I think NOT!!! But, don't worry, I'm on the case ....