Everything I Needed to Know about Life, I Learned from Watching Manny

The Rustle of the Sheets . . .
Danny and Michelle Humor

"Everything I Needed to Know about Life, I Learned from Watching Manny"

By Twinners

1. It isn't necessary to have a lot of education to have a lot of money.
2. Not everyone marries for love.
3. Sometimes it's okay to go to bed angry.
4. Pointing is rude, but gesturing with two fingers is socially acceptable.
5. It's always helpful to learn a second language.
6. You can never have too many weddings.
7. Never argue with your husband about money or giving it to strangers; offer sex instead.
8. Wives, never turn your back on your mother-in-law.
9. Husbands, never turn your back on your brother-in-law.
10. Always carry your ID; you never know when you might need a drink.
11. Make sure all of your clocks are set to the correct time.
12. Always take your wire cutters to religious ceremonies.
13. Leather fashions can be worn all the way up to Memorial Day and sometimes beyond.
14. Never try to hug your spouse when he's wearing his gun holster.
15. Cold showers can be a nice pick-me-up.
16. Always drive a car with SRS airbags, especially if you plan on speeding.
17. Invest in caller ID, *69, call blocking and call waiting.
18. Always look under the pew.
19. Stock up on useful household appliances like cordless drills.
20. Never pull a knife on your spouse, even if you don't really intend to use it.
21. When used properly, anything can become a weapon: a rock, a pillow, a teakettle.
22. Pink isn't just for newborns.
23. Never say "never" (i.e. "I'll never love you!;" "I will never forgive you for this!")