Mr. and Mrs. Daniel Santos The Rustle of the Sheets . . .
Essay #24
"Is It Love?"
(Written after Michelle's conversation with Meta and dream of Danny on March 22)

By Jennifer H. -- posted on the Mannyac Board.

What exactly is the nature of Michelle's feelings for Danny? That is the question that Manny-acs, Danny, Drew, Michelle and her entire family have been wondering for quite some time. Well, here's my stab at the answer ...

Michelle is falling in love with Danny. Period.

I do not believe that she is there yet. Her feelings are too much in a jumble, too confused and too much entwined with her hatred of Carmen and the life that Carmen's vengeance forced her into. Her feelings for her husband are also entwined with her love for Jesse and how that love was discarded so callously because of the intrusion of the Santos family into her life.

Coupled with all of this chaos of emotion are the volatile passions that Danny himself arouses in her. he makes her hot -- and overwhelms her with his voice, his words, his touch -- and he makes her cold -- with his family ethics (or lack thereof), his imagined indifference to the loss of her life, his violent temper. And then he turns around and warms her heart with his sweetness, with his thoughtfulness, with his loving, protective concern for her and his obvious desire to make her happy.

And on top of this, Michelle is deeply in lust with the man. She wants him, much more than she has ever wanted anyone before. What she experienced with Jesse was young love, first love and it was real, but it was a girl's love -- a girl on the verge of womanhood. What she feels for Danny is richer, more passionate, filled with ups and downs, highs and lows, reality and consequence - the love of a woman.

And that frightens the hell out of her.

I honestly do not believe that Michelle pulled away from Danny after the Mrs. Silva incident in their bedroom because of guilt over her lies -- as she did on their wedding night -- or even because of fading loyalty to Jesse -- as she had in the lighthouse --, I believe that her withdrawal was the exact opposite of what Danny thought. She pulled away because she wanted him too much, she was no longer acting, she wasn't feigning passion.

There was a moment during their embrace when Michelle winced because of what she was having to do to save herself -- lie with a man she didn't love, but within seconds that expression changed to one of contentment and need as Danny's lips danced across her throat, as she savored the feel of his flesh beneath her hands, as she felt his mouth upon hers. She wanted him and as she kissed him and held him, she was no longer thinking of distracting Danny or saving her secret about Mrs. Silva. She was thinking of making love to her husband and how much she wanted to do so. And it scared her, so she pulled away.

Again, what she feels for Danny alarms her. The feelings she has for him don't fall into neat, little boxes. She can not easily define what he does to her, how he makes her feel. All she knows (and is slowly beginning to admit) is that he makes her feel things she has never felt before and as frightening and as unfamiliar as those feelings are, they have also very likely provided the most excitement and joy she has ever known.

And it is only a matter of time before those feelings come bubbling to the surface and when they do ... oh, when they do, I imagine that Danny will have a worthy partner in sparking those fireworks.

Jennifer H.

Read kristi's response.


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